and the tears kept falling that i’m racing with my own heart beat.
It hurts, it hurts so much like it will never heal, it hurts, it hurts like the pain will never go, O Allaah it hurts, it hurts like the heart finds no way to beat anymore.
O Allaah, there’s so much pain, O Allaah, help me, ease me, strengthen me, ya Allaah…
Yes, my dear, I know it hurts more than words can describe.
But you are not alone, every person goes through this transition, this heartache bears so many forms, colors and stories but all same when it penetrates a person, it goes beyond the soul.
Sometimes Allaah Azza Wa Jall tests us on things we think we will never be able to cope up, but know Allaah Azza Wa Jall never intends for you hardship but ease.
Na’am, it only hurts like that because you were holding a belief that was so strong that you gave into it more than you should have.
You had someone you saw as the moon among the stars, a laugh among the smiles and a bearer of happiness…happiness, a happiness that was not meant for you.
I know, We all understand how much pain losing the person we thought were ours.
O you, whose heart has been crashed, you can keep your tears from us, but please do not keep it from the One Who Truly Loves you, The One Who Loves you more than any man could ever love you, One Who loves you more than your own parents.
Cry to Allaah, please.
Cry to Him, scream if you need to but please let it go, let your heart breathe, do not imprison it with the pain, call out Help, call out Help from the One whom you know will never leave you hanging, nor have left you for even a minute in your life.
You can hide and no one in this world can know that pain you are going through, but you can never hide from Him, He sees and hears and knows everything…
From the pain behind every Alhamdulillaah, I am okay, I will be okay, you are hurting, you have to accept that. It is painful, but see this as a blessing in which Allaah Azza Wa Jall gave you so that you can go run back to Him.
Failure, pain, sorrow, grief, lost all these negative feelings give nothing to a person but a step closer to his betterment. There is pain in every blossoming beauty, to be able to have a potable water, it has to be filtered, it has to go through processes, and so are people. In order to be the best of what we are, we have to go into pain, failure, success everything, but only those who keep faith in Him can survive and pass these tests in flying colors.
Sometimes we ask, how can a person bear so much pain?
Good soul, know that it was destined for you, it was written for you that you walk along this path but not to crush you but to make you better, a process we all go through.
When you are hurt, do not cry on the shoulders of others, but cry in sujood, people can tell you this and that to comfort you, but no words can ever comfort you like how the Words of Allaah Azza Wa Jall in the Qur’an can. People can lie to you to comfort you, but Allaah Azza Wa Jall holds every truth. You feel the pain, because Allaah Azza Wa Jall sends out Mercy for you. Behind every tear is a comfort, a rahma from him.
No one can mend your heart but the One who created it. He has the medicine for everything, Allaah Azza Wa Jall gave even all the warnings, if not, then solution before the problem.
Let me share to you one of my most favorite ayah from the Qur’aan, one that always and will always speak to you;
"O you who believe! Guard your own souls, if you follow (right) guidance, no hurt can come to you from those who stray. The goal of you all is to Allaah: it is He that will show you the truth of all that you do." 5:105
Subhan’Allaah. Yes, you got it, we fell into such depression into such pain because we chose to fall for that. There is no much to say, no need to blame, but right now all you need to do is cry it all out, empty the heart of pain and fill it with the remembrance of Allaah Azza Wa Jall.
Read about the female companions of Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi wassalaam, imagine the pain of Fatimaah Radiyallahu Anha when she lost her father, the pain of Khansa Radiyallahu Anha when she lost three of his sons in jihad, the pain of Umm Salamah Radiyallahu Anha after the death of her husband, the pain of Saffiyah Bint Abdul Muttalib Radiyallahu Anha when she saw the body of her brother, Hamza Radiyallahu Anhu, slaughtered, or the pain of Zainab Radiyallahu Anha being separated from her husband.
Is your pain even near to the pain they had?
But these women, death, lost, heartache didn’t destroy them, but rather made them blossomed to become among the greatest women that ever walked in the fold of Islaam. Subhan’Allaah. These great women, no words can really described how beautiful they were, let us see them as the role models, let us learn from their sufferings, their struggles, how they were so patient in handling situations.
When Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam lost Khadija Radiyallahu Anha he was in so much pain that only through seeing Allaah Azza Wa Jall became its remedy. Even he went through it, but He had Him and Allaah Azza Wa Jall is everything, He is everything we have. Wallahi, do not lose Allaah Azza Wa Jall, forsake everything but not Him. If you lose Him, you lose everything.
Stay strong, stay strong, you are still breathing, you are still breathing, Alhamdulillaah. Alhamdulillaah. Alhamdulillaah. For every beat of your heart there is a rahma from Allaah Azza Wa Jall, so what is stopping you from repenting?
Here we are, we came to the edge of everything, when He has given all the chances before this heartache can come, do not let everything fade before you come back to Him.
This heartache will not break you, it will make you stronger, believe in Allaah Azza Wa Jall for He says He doesn’t burden the soul of something in which it cannot bear.
This is another ticket back to Allaah Azza Wa Jall, so get it, ride and come back to Him. First few days will hurt because you are human, you feel pain, you struggle, but do not let it bring you down.
Allaah Azza Wa Jall says in a Hadith Qudsi: “Neither My Earth nor My Heavens can contain Me, but the heart of a Believing Servant, can.”
In another tradition, Allah says, “I am the Greatest, None is Greater than I! The Earth and Heavens cannot contain me (they were created as simple creatures without the capacity to contain the Maqam of Allah), so I granted upon human beings, the Heart (Qalb); it is but the size of a fist, you may see that the heart is so small, physically, but that physical heart is a symbolic creation representing the real Qalb that I have granted to My Deputies, no one understands about that real Heart, for that Heart of a Believing Servant can contain Me.”
Subhan’Allaah. Yes, a heart of a believer has a capacity that has no limitations, unlimited, Alhamdulillaah.
So do yourself a favor and heal your heart by crying in your sujood.
Always remember, Allaah Azza Wa Jall loves you.
And we pray that through our heartaches, our failures and all the endeavors we face we find His Guidance hovering upon us, that in His Mercy we also find the ease that we need in our hearts and that He grants us a mind and a heart that sees what is good in every situation so that we can bear every problem and trial with patience and tolerance along with our undying faith in Him.